We are the Gargolaxians You have been chosen...
*Sponsored by gBrain*
50% off all Alternate Life Brain-Implants this cosmic week only!
*terms & conditions definitely apply*
*Sponsored by gBrain*
50% off all Alternate Life Brain-Implants this cosmic week only!
*terms & conditions definitely apply*
From across the cosmos we have brought this human a fine selection of lovable creatures.
I assure you human, these creatures are domesticated. They will not eat you or gork you in any way , shape or molecular form.
*This portion is brought to you by Gorkagra*
*Gorkagra, don't gork without it*
Each creature has a unique diet. Some do not consume carbon-based food at all. It will be up to you to learn about your pet. Watch it. Interact with it. Take it out into human society for a voyage. Only then will your relationship flourish.
Remember human, that you are special. We do not want to spoil the fun by letting other humans in on our secret, now do we? In case of the rare event that your government does confiscate your new pet, you should hire an approved Intergalactic Space Attorney.
A new Division of THE Intergalactic Battle Society has been created especially for Planet Earth. It has been dubbed the 'Dirt League'. Fear not human, the chances of you being eaten by an opposing trainer's pet is minimal at most.
You will have a chance to participate in an all new nature series centered around the lives of humans. Participation is mandatory. That is not all human. You will also take part in interviews and even gain interstellar sponsorships.
Upon our arrival you will purchase, with space cash, our patented 'How To Train Your Alien Pet' user interface software. Until then we will send one of our scouts with a preview of this software. (Video Game Demo Coming Soon)
*Sponsored by Thermian Space Whale Spit!*
We are located in the Gargolax System on the outer edges of the Perseus Arm - Only 5731 lightyears away from the Sol System
*Sponsored By Phizerian Stupefication Tablets* *side-effects may most certainly occur* *contact your xenobiologist if you experience interdimensional drift*
Today | By Appointment |
Open from now until the end of the universe
How To Train Your Alien Pet - User Interface Software System - GargoTech Industries - Stardate 4723.11
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We will only mildly probe you using C.O.O.K.I.E.S. Should you choose to resist our Cosmic Organ-Observing Killer Infiltration Exo System you shall face a fate far far worse than probing...